PoTC: On Strange Tides

The fourth PoTC movie is about how Blackbeard jumps through a rip in time, then goes to double hell after scaring a bunch of sparkly vampire mermaids with a remote-controlled ship with flame throwers. Also, the remote-control is a sword.

Teen Titans Go!

Teen Titans Go! is a show about an orange alien, a grey half-demon, a cyborg, an okay guy with the not-so-unfortunate name of Richard Grayson, and an awesome guy with the unfortunate name of Garfield Logan.

A Brief Summery of the Relationships in Kingdom Hearts

Riku wants to screw Sora, Sora wants to get laid by Kairi, and Kairi has no interest in dating them, but still wants to watch the two fight over her.

Sleeping Beauty

One of the original versions of Sleeping Beauty is this story of a girl who cannot wake up because of a magical splinter, then a prince comes and knocks her up. Then she gives birth to twins, who in their hunger start to suck on her fingers. This dislodges the splinter, she wakes up, and promptly goes 'What the fuck?'

Lady and the Tramp

Lady and the Tramp is a Disney movie about some dogs who love each other. Oh, and one dog meets a crack-whore dog in the pound.

Spider-Man

Spider-Man is the story of a boy who suddenly develops muscles, an interest in girls, and starts shooting white stuff everywhere.

Twilight

Twilight is a very stupid, but very popular 'novel' about a young lady's choice between bestiality and necrophilia.

Portal

Portal is a video game about a crazy robot that makes you go through a series of deadly tests using the promise of cake. There IS NO CAKE.

Death Note

An anime of a man pretending to be smart by taking at least five minutes to come up with an answer that isn't entirely stupid or incriminating.

Bleach

A series that ended, and then they decided to keep going. You know. For shits and giggles.

Harry Potter(First Book Only)

Harry Potter is about a magical baby who goes to a school where they teach the kids nothing but magic, therefore allowing kids to grow up with the power to kill people and time travel, but giving them education of a 4th grader.

Carebears

Carebears is this little kids show that teaches kids that if they puff out their chest and stare at a bully he won't be able to hurt them.

Pokemon

Pokemon is about these under-aged kids going out and fighting monsters with other monsters they keep in little balls on their belt. Then, after the first three-ish seasons, it turned into a show about 'friendship' and 'sharing' and crap like that.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is this movie about a poor kid who goes to a chocolate factory, only to learn that the owner has daddy issues and then gets lots of money, because the crazy guy with daddy issues found a gray hair that he though was his on the ground of a salon where he gets his hair cut.

Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni

Higurashi is this show where everything is normal and happy and everyone is happy and filled with goodness and joy and friendship and then suddenly BAM MOTHERFUCKER YOU JUST GOT OWNED WITH A MEAT CLEAVER TO THE FACE!
And magic. That to.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

The Nightmare Before Christmas is about this scary skeleton who get bored with being scary, so he decides to be Santa Clause. Then he gets fucked up by the police and decides he doesn't like being Santa so he hooks up with a rag doll instead, and everyone lives happily ever after.